Your Adoption Journey

8. Introductions (Part 1):  Birth parent/adopter meeting: This is often a difficult and contentious decision faced by a lot of adopters. I often see one adopter more for it than the other, the other is often quite rightly anxious and skeptical about the benefits of it. In my experience the agency will often simply ask you if want to meet the birth family face to face. Some practitioners (but not all) don’t fully explain the purpose or benefits of engaging in such an unusual and emotive meeting. When you ask your friends and family what they think, a lot of people’s immediate reaction is likely to be negative, such as ' why on earth would you want to do that?! '. Those with little experience or understanding of adoption may always struggle with this concept, even if you try to explain it to them. Also, adopters like to take ownership of their children and generally don’t like to be reminded that their children have other parents out there. I imagine you will be an...

Matching panel By now I imagine your head hurts from all of the meetings and information sharing. You have said you wish to continue with the match what feels like 20 times now and are thinking to yourself 'get on with it already! I have told you I am committed to this child, why aren't they here already!'. Well your nearly there hopefully. Matching panel is an independent panel who read all the reports and then make a recommendation to the Agency Decision Maker (ADM) to approve, defer or not approve the match. They are structured in a similar way to your approval panel. They will look at your PAR (Prospective Adopter Report), the CPR (Child Permanence Report) and reports prepared by the Family Finder for the match. They are basically determining what the child’s needs are and if you are able to meet them now and in the future. Similarly to your approval panel you will be invited to attend panel with your Social Worker. Again, the panel chair will usual...

Child Appreciation Day The use of these events varies depending on the agency you use, child’s age, needs and if they are being placed as a sibling group. These are such important events and are an amazing opportunity to get more information about the child/children than you would from anywhere else. I have worked with families who have chosen not to have these and they always regret it after. They are essentially information sharing days, where as many professionals that have been involved with the child as possible will be invited. The idea is that you get the full history and as much information as possible to make an informed decision on whether or not to proceed. This will really bring the child to life and give you a full picture of their personality and needs. The meetings are normally arranged by the Family Finding Social Worker and chaired by a manager or senior worker from the adoption service.  They are in depth, emotional and tiring meetings but...