Your Adoption Journey

Introductions (Part 2): Materials, Meetings and Plans Introduction materials: In terms of making the transition into your care; I would argue this is one of the most important parts of the process and also the part most people don't put enough effort into. The material you share will be used to prepare the child for meeting you, if done well this can make the introductions smoother and can help them to settle quicker. A lot of people do not fully appreciate the impact of this, but don't underestimate the importance of this part of the process. I see time and time again the huge difference this can make to a successful and positive placement. No matter what age the children are, this will give them the chance to see you, hear you and smell you. Using these senses well has a powerful impact on early attachment. I recommend you try and do a couple or more of these if you can: 1. Laminated A4 head shots so they can see you up close every day. I worked with a foster c...

8. Introductions (Part 1):  Birth parent/adopter meeting: This is often a difficult and contentious decision faced by a lot of adopters. I often see one adopter more for it than the other, the other is often quite rightly anxious and skeptical about the benefits of it. In my experience the agency will often simply ask you if want to meet the birth family face to face. Some practitioners (but not all) don’t fully explain the purpose or benefits of engaging in such an unusual and emotive meeting. When you ask your friends and family what they think, a lot of people’s immediate reaction is likely to be negative, such as ' why on earth would you want to do that?! '. Those with little experience or understanding of adoption may always struggle with this concept, even if you try to explain it to them. Also, adopters like to take ownership of their children and generally don’t like to be reminded that their children have other parents out there. I imagine you will be an...

Matching panel By now I imagine your head hurts from all of the meetings and information sharing. You have said you wish to continue with the match what feels like 20 times now and are thinking to yourself 'get on with it already! I have told you I am committed to this child, why aren't they here already!'. Well your nearly there hopefully. Matching panel is an independent panel who read all the reports and then make a recommendation to the Agency Decision Maker (ADM) to approve, defer or not approve the match. They are structured in a similar way to your approval panel. They will look at your PAR (Prospective Adopter Report), the CPR (Child Permanence Report) and reports prepared by the Family Finder for the match. They are basically determining what the child’s needs are and if you are able to meet them now and in the future. Similarly to your approval panel you will be invited to attend panel with your Social Worker. Again, the panel chair will usual...

Child Appreciation Day The use of these events varies depending on the agency you use, child’s age, needs and if they are being placed as a sibling group. These are such important events and are an amazing opportunity to get more information about the child/children than you would from anywhere else. I have worked with families who have chosen not to have these and they always regret it after. They are essentially information sharing days, where as many professionals that have been involved with the child as possible will be invited. The idea is that you get the full history and as much information as possible to make an informed decision on whether or not to proceed. This will really bring the child to life and give you a full picture of their personality and needs. The meetings are normally arranged by the Family Finding Social Worker and chaired by a manager or senior worker from the adoption service.  They are in depth, emotional and tiring meetings but...

5. Linking and Matching This can be a frustrating time for adopters. After the assessment and initial excitement of being approved as adopters it can feel like suddenly no-one is interested or doing anything. But trust me this is far from the case. Family Finding social workers will be doing lots and lots of work behind the scenes trying to link or match children to the best fitting families and completing mounds of paperwork. The search usually starts locally, then as time goes on it expands further afield. You can also be involved in this process through magazines and Adoption link. Although, I would speak to your social worker as they may already have profiles in mind or there may be timescales attached to when they start using various resources available to them. Your social worker will also send your PAR to children’s social workers to consider potential matches. You will also get some basic profiles and if interested you can request the Child Permanence Report (CPR). T...

4. Approval Panel The approval panel is an independent body that recommends whether you should be approved as an adopter. They will read your PAR, references etc then make a recommendation whether they feel you are suitable to be approved as adopters. Panels may vary slightly between authorities but they generally operate in the same way. The panel is made up of a group of individuals from various personal and professional backgrounds which can include the medical adviser, social workers, adoptive parents, people who were adopted or fostered and lots of other backgrounds and experience. When you enter you are likely going to be faced with a room full of complete strangers all smiling at you, they will have name cards in front of them and will go around the room introducing themselves and what their role is (not that you will remember). You will be invited to attend panel with your social worker and the panel chair will usually meet you beforehand to explain how it works and help...

3. Your Assessment Once you move into stage two you will start your assessment. This will consist of a series of visits from your social worker to gather information about you and your family. The purpose of this is that they will analyse the information and prepare a Prospective Adopters Report (PAR) to present to an independent panel. This report will include a wide range of information such as your childhood, life growing up with various family members, significant life events, education, employment, health, support network (family and friends), your home, local community, finances, lifestyle, why you want to adopt, expectations & experience of parenting and any other relevant information for the assessment. This will help to determine your suitability to adopt and explore what child, or children, suits you and your family. Your social worker will meet with you to provide information, outline how long it will take and start planning the assessment. The assessment is...