Things to consider before adopting

Things to consider before adopting
You will cover most of this in your initial consultations and adoption training. But I would recommend doing some extra bedtime reading around attachment and therapeutic (positive) parenting. Feel free to comment if you have some good suggestions.

There is a lot to learn and everyone will have unique experiences of parenting. I will cover some of the basics for you to consider.

You will have to think about things that you never thought you would when having a child; this can feel a little uncomfortable for some. For example, you will need to consider the gender, age, ethnicity and whether you see yourself with a single child or siblings. You will also have to consider what needs you can, or are willing to, meet including both physical and emotional.

I guess the main one to think about is not to underestimate the impact of trauma and loss on adopted children. Everyone has preconceived notions of how they imagine their families to look, but not all adopted children will be perfect and easy children to care for.

You will be adopting a beautiful child that will enhance your life more than you can ever imagine. But it's important to remember that they may have already been through more than most people do their entire lives. They are likely to have experienced some form of trauma or loss at varying degrees. Even a young baby will have the trauma of being removed from their primary carer (parent and/or foster carer).


I do not mention this to put people off, as I believe adoption is amazing. But I think it is important to bear in mind that some adopters might have to deal with more challenging behaviour than others. My little boy was only 2, but we experienced some very challenging attachment based behaviour where he could not self-regulate and would have extreme meltdowns. He also rejected one of us initially, and until you have been through it you cannot imagine how painful this feels and fractious this is to a family. But we braved the storm and could not be happier, but I wish we were more prepared for it and knew where get help. This is the main reason I wanted to write this, if I can help one family in some way then I will have achieved my goal.

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